Happiness

Happiness

Dare to Dream

Dare to Dream

by | Sep 15, 2018 | , ,

 Dare to dream. Take a leap of faith (you are in charge). You are the captain of your amazing, adventurous, long, and healthy life journey.

Navigate through the calms and storms of your life with confidence and imagination. You Can Do It!

10 Scientifically Proven Ways to Be Happy

10 Scientifically Proven Ways to Be Happy

by | Jun 15, 2018 | , , , , , ,

These scientifically proven ways to be happy are published by Secrets2Success, which is known for its famously popular page: @secrets2success, where the company inspires and motivates many people day-in and day-out.

Exercise (at least seven minutes a day). It really all comes down to moving. In all facets of daily life, do your best to avoid a sedentary lifestyle. The more hours you log sitting down each day, the higher your risk of serious health problems.
Go outside (especially when it’s very cold). The outdoors is a natural, cost-free, easily accessible mood elevator. Also, it provides a dose of vitamin D, which produces important health benefits such as promoting calcium absorption, reducing bone inflammation, and supporting immune function. Not bad for such a simple act.
Help others (at least two hours each week). The scientific benefits of helping others have been proven again and again. It reduces the extreme loneliness some people experience, which has actually been known to increase lifespan.
Meditate (rewrite your brain). Meditating improves concentration. Improving this ability enhances a person’s self-awareness, which increases happiness and acceptance. All of these benefits can come from simply taking a little time to think.
Move closer to work. Are you one of the countless individuals who spend hours of your day commuting? Unless you can find a way to make those hours productive (beyond getting you from one place to another), try to arrange something where the drive time doesn’t weigh so heavily on your day.
Plan a trip (even if you don’t take it). The act of planning is itself beneficial. Visualizing yourself on a family outing or experiencing adventures is intoxicating.
Practice gratitude. Feeling grateful and expressing it put people in good moods. The better your mood, the more resilient you become. It’s all good news!
Practice smiling. Do you know what happens when you smile? Neuronal signals travel from the cortex of your brain to the brain stem. From there, the cranial muscle carries the signal further toward the face’s smiling muscles. Once those muscles contract, a positive feedback loop goes back to the brain and reinforces your feeling of joy. Just hearing that should arouse a smile!
Sleep more. Sleep plays a vital role in your overall health. A lot of important activities occur when you sleep, namely the healing and repairing of your heart and blood vessels.
Spend more time with family (and friends). How else can memorable experiences be created? Family bonding time is an opportune time to model good behavior, as well as to give your children a greater sense of self worth.

Life Takes Courage!

Life Takes Courage!

by | Apr 15, 2018 | , , ,

Are you trying to let go of a familiar and comfortable situation—be it job, relationship, or habit? Have you decided it’s time to change your life’s path and strive for something more? For anyone on the edge of a major life decision, I’m here to remind you, “Life takes courage!”

Don’t ever underestimate the process. It takes courage to decide to change. Then it takes more courage to implement the change. Finally, it requires courage that stems from commitment and determination to maintain the change. For those of you getting ready to muster up all of this courage, keep these tips in mind:

Honesty is the best policy. Being honest with yourself includes taking responsibility for what has held you back from change so far. What’s been keeping you from realizing your potential? Pinpoint the excuses early on that you know have kept you from success in the past.
First things first. Place a value on each of your needs. If you find a good percentage of your day is spent taking care of others’ needs, do your best to reprioritize and put some of your needs closer to the top.
Invite risk in. Think of it like this. If we knew the outcome of everything in advance, how could we enjoy life’s occasional surprises or its great sense of mystery? You’ll never be given a 100 percent guarantee on anything, so put your best effort into making something happen and feel the fear that risk-taking puts on every individual who invites risk in.
Confront your fears. Many wait until they have no choice but to face their fear. As a result, they react adversely. Instead, don’t wait for the crisis. Be the initiator and face your fears before they bring you down. Also, keep in mind that sometimes a fear can itself become a comfort zone. It is a familiar concept, and it’s easy to talk yourself into believing you have control over it.
Worst-case scenario. Break down your fears and figure out how ominous they really appear. What is the worst outcome you could face as a result of making the proposed change? The results may surprise you. In fact, you may find your courage surging once you realize that the worst-case scenario really isn’t so bad.

So as you proceed in taking your risk, remember to credit yourself along the way for your accomplishments. Acknowledge your decisions and the courage it takes to make them. When you do, you’ll feel stronger and more capable of growth. Before you know it, you’ll have conquered the task. You Can Do It!

Worrying—A Waste of Time!

Worrying—A Waste of Time!

by | Mar 15, 2018 | , , ,

I’ll begin by emphasizing the importance of this blog topic. Far too many of us spend far too much time investing in the act of worry—with no payoff. Imagine what most of us could have done with the time we’ve spent fretting. Better yet, imagine what you could accomplish when you decide to send your worries packing.

Why worry?

Typical worriers somehow believe that worrying plays a role in keeping them safe. They suffer from endless agonizing and, therefore, thwart the possibility of bad outcomes. If this were so, believe me I’d join in on the worry party. But, it’s not.

Worry comes from learned brain activity. In other words, you taught yourself what to worry about, when to worry, and how to worry. Perhaps—for whatever reason— you worry that something bad might happen. Whether it does or not, you’ve taught yourself to kick in the worry response. Now it’s time to un-learn it—if you will. Learn how to trust that you’ve done all you can to preclude a crisis. In the event that it still occurs, understand that you have the resilience to bounce back.

Before I offer you suggestions for eliminating worry from your daily “to-do” list, think about what a person actually gets out of worrying. How does it give back to the person who has selected it as their preferred activity? For one, worry allows people to avoid change. The act impedes on the person’s ability to take action because of being caught up in feelings of uneasiness and preoccupation. Also, worry makes people give away their power. Once worriers opt to wallow in the indecisive pool of anxiety, this is what controls them. This is what they have chosen—over living in the moment. Finally, choosing to worry gives people a false sense of purpose. Have you ever heard someone say, “I’ve been worried for hours!” They mean it! They’ve invested hours into a senseless, useless activity that has given them a false sense of purpose.

Two-step solution

            I’ll say it again: if I could find the benefit or the payoff for time spent worrying, I’d give the activity more consideration. But, I found a better way—and it’s only a two-step process:

Separate and list all of your concerns into two categories:
Things I can control
Things I cannot control
Control what you can and surrender the rest to destiny.

It’s that simple!

Find a Point of Attraction

Find a Point of Attraction

by | Feb 28, 2018 | , , ,

I’ve said it thousands of times: Your past doesn’t own you. What you were taught to believe at one point need not remain part of who you are today. Think of your past as a toolbox of beliefs and memories—some worthy of recall, others not. Each of these beliefs and memories simply represents a chronic pattern of thought that is yours either to dwell on, or yours to replace by creating new patterns of thought.

Every time you invite something new into your life, you begin the creation of a new pattern of thought. This life is yours! Choose to tell a new story, simply by changing your point of attraction. If the new focal point is positive, you will quickly discover how negative thoughts begin to shift, soon to be replaced by the affirmative energy that comes from your new point of attraction.

Points of attraction are different for everybody. A point of attraction can be a fixer-upper car to an auto enthusiast. It can be getting a job for the summer to a teenager. It can be learning a new language, preparing for a vacation, writing a story, the possibilities are endless. What’s important is that it’s YOUR point of attraction. It’s all yours to make whatever you want out of it. Now go find one! You Can Do It!

Body-Mind Relationship

Body-Mind Relationship

by | Feb 15, 2018 | , , ,

I saw this quote the other day:

“Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.”

If I were to change one word of that quote, I’d change “skinny” to “healthy.” Then, it has meaning to me. I don’t strive for “skinny,” however, I know one truth: everything I do in life is done through the perspective of my physical body. My body is persistently reacting to my thoughts. When you think about it—to what else would it react? So, I consider my body to be a mirror of the way I think.

Having said that, if I feel healthy, it’s likely that the world around me will seem better—and if I’ve let my health go, my perspective will follow it. Also, I’ve learned that it works both ways: a person that feels good physically—typically thinks more positively; and, a positive thinker promotes a healthy body. Remember this concept as you move through your day. Be aware of your thoughts because your body is counting on them for its next move. You Can Do It!

Fight for Your New Year’s Resolutions!

Fight for Your New Year’s Resolutions!

by | Jan 30, 2018 | , ,

While only eight percent of those who set New Year’s resolutions keep them, I believe the tradition is an important one. It is the beginning of a New Year, and it provides a perfect starting point for committing yourself to positive changes. Plus, there’s even more motivation when you share your resolutions with others.

Breaking down a habit

            In order to create a new behavior, you have to form new habits. Here are the three components of a habit:

Cue: Could be time of day, hearing a baby cry, becoming frustrated, etc.
Routine: Performing the habit
Reward: All habits have rewards-they are the reason for the habit in the first place.

Now, apply these three components to your resolution. If your resolution is to complete paperwork on time, then set yourself up to do this. Pick a day of the week, a time of day, and duration of time. For instance, you will devote one hour every Wednesday evening to paperwork. Your cue becomes Wednesday evening, the routine is to do the paperwork, and the reward is that it gets done on time.

            Believe it or not, New Year’s resolutions are powerful. To ensure your success, here are a few tips for making them happen:

Be specific about what you want to accomplish.
With more complex goals, think incrementally.
If a setback occurs, shrug it off and move on.

The Law of Attraction teaches that “we create pictures of our intended life and then make choices and take actions that will realize what we envisaged.” In other words, your life is a blank canvas. If a New Year’s resolution will get you to the next phase of your painting masterpiece, respect your resolve and do it. You Can Do It!

           

Fun Is Under Rated!

Fun Is Under Rated!

by | Jan 15, 2018 | , ,

In the name of “fun,” I have two questions for you:

How do you define fun? I know everyone defines it differently. Just make sure you have a description so you can grab your share of the fun. Is it light-hearted pleasures? Playful behavior? Is fun found in board games or playing cards? Do you have a hobby that is fun to engage in? Some people say doing “nothing” is where they find fun. One truth is certain—fun comes in all shapes and sizes.
How much time do you devote to fun every week? So many people think they need to earn their fun when having fun is as essential to a balanced lifestyle as anything. Plan your fun like you plan your work. Decide how much time you’re going to spend having fun and stick to it.

If, in answering these two questions, you realize how little fun you actually have, then now is the time to change it. You’re the only one who can. You are in control. And, as you plan time for fun, keep these suggestions in mind:

Ignore the idea of perfection. (e.g. needing just the right equipment, etc.)
Go have some fun without expectations.
Schedule fun time if that’s what it takes or enjoy the experience of spontaneity.
Be present for the fun—and that doesn’t mean just being there. Enjoy it, as it happens. Be in the moment! You Can Do It!

Dealing with People Who Are Always Right

Dealing with People Who Are Always Right

by | Dec 30, 2017 | , , , ,

Have you ever been in a conversation—fully aware that the person to whom you’re speaking—isn’t really listening? Typically, these poor listeners are narcissistic types who are not only poor listeners but are also in the same category as people who think they’re always right.

It makes sense. If I thought I was always right, I probably wouldn’t believe I had anything to learn. And, I’d probably feel compelled to share my wisdom with the world. This attitude, which is not only arrogant but dysfunctional as well, creates a negative reputation with others.

Ask yourself, how do you rate as a listener? It never hurts to give your perspective a check-up. Do you feel an urgency to prove yourself right more often than not? Or, do you have the need to monopolize conversations at the expense of others?

Dealing with the problem

In many cases, people who have a pathological need to be right at all times are insecure, and this character flaw is a symptom of it. Other times the person is simply egotistical and condescending. Either way, it’s best to accept that the person may never change and take note of some suggestions for dealing with these circumstances:

Ask questions. Since direct argumentation rarely works with these people, ask questions to learn what evidence supports the person’s posture on the subject. Find out why “the person is right.”
Stay levelheaded. Different dynamics dictate separate responses but, remember, there is little that warrants losing your composure. Don’t allow someone’s narcissistic ways to make you come unglued. Believe me, you’ll regret it.
Ignore it. I believe this is the wisest way to deal with people who are always right. The more time you spend with that person, the more time you waste on a problem that’s not really yours to solve.
Choose your battles. This option depends largely upon the relationship you have to the person who is always right. But, if it is your boss, you should choose your battles wisely. Why jeopardize your job security over a matter for which the outcome isn’t your responsibility?

Shedding Expectations

Shedding Expectations

by | Nov 14, 2017 | , ,

“I always feel happy. You know why? Because I don’t expect anything from anyone. Expectations always hurt.”

—Shakespeare

What a great quote! Living it means so much when it comes to happiness—but let me clarify. I realize that at work you expect co-workers to play their role in getting the job done. Similarly, at home you expect your family to do their share of housework. The key word that makes Shakespeare’s quote so powerful is the word happy. When you let the outcomes of others determine your disposition, then you’re putting the responsibility for your happiness in someone else’s hands. For example, if I “expect” my daughter to attend an event and she doesn’t show up—that’s a shame, but it shouldn’t dictate how I feel inside.

The same is true when it comes to expecting others to agree with you or expecting others to do something just because it’s what you’re doing. How many times have you heard people lament over opinions that didn’t match their own? Or, how often has someone become upset because you didn’t sign up for the same seminar he/she did? Attention readers! In the scheme of life—all of these incidents comprise the “small stuff.” In other words, when you hear contrary information—listen to it, process it, and move on.

Finally, let me put this out there: The only way to be happy is to decide you’re going to be happy. Sounds absurdly simple—right? That’s because it is. Choosing happiness is as easy as flipping a switch. Make the decision and don’t let anything get in the way. You Can Do It!

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