In my very first entry, I introduced you to my core beliefs. I wanted to show you where I was coming from and where I believe we can all go.
One of those beliefs is that hurt brings opportunity for growth and healing so we should cherish it along with all the other feelings in this life. It seems counterintuitive to embrace pain, but any life that is rich with experiences is going to have some pain. It is all part of the process of living fully. We would not be fully alive if we did not encounter some pain along the way.
When we experience emotional pain, such as when a relationship ends or when we lose something we were strongly connected to, it is confirmation of how deeply we felt about that person or thing. The absence of that pain would mean an absence of caring deeply. We want our lives to be filled with love and friendship and tight emotional bonds. Inevitably, those connections will cause us some pain, though, and that is okay. It’s better to have loved and lost, right?
When we hurt because of a disappointment of some kind, such as when we let ourselves down by not following through or by failing to succeed at something we set out to do, we are given a great opportunity to learn and grow. As I discussed in a previous post, having attempted something and failed puts us in the unique position of knowing what it is like to do it wrong, and that is sometimes the best way to see how something should be done correctly. It is within these failures that the opportunity for growth and learning occurs.
A period of pain and suffering will eventually come to a close through the process of healing. You may heal quickly or it may take months or even years to heal. The time will vary depending on the severity of the damage. We heal in many different ways. Sometimes healing comes soon, for no discernable reason. Sometimes healing from deep emotional and psychological wounds comes about only after years of work and effort. Sometimes we need some assistance from a professional to get beyond the pain. Just like its physical counterpart, an emotional wound takes time, attention, and care to get better.
The attention and level of care you give yourself will affect how quick and how complete your recovery will be. Through this process you will uncover things you may not have realized about yourself, and you will learn how strong and capable you are to withstand a trying time.
Just as love, joy, happiness, satisfaction, and fulfillment are all parts of a well-balanced life, so, too, are pain and sorrow. Embrace and cherish all the feelings available to you with the knowledge that great pain is a confirmation of great love.
-Dr. Erica Miller